Considering it’s Autism Awareness month, I’m not surprised that the media’s back on the bandwagon… and yes, I did see Oprah’s show on Autism yesterday — while it had some useful info for the general public (more on this later), I really appreciated the Nightline and ABC World News special on Asperger’s and bullying a lot more, though that’s no doubt a personal thing, because I have a child with high functioning autism and rarely get to see accurate info or portrayals regarding this in the media. I also really like the ABC site on their special, which has some video clips from the show if you missed it and none of those annoying pop up ads that are so prevalent on sites these days.
Even if you don’t have a direct affect of someone with asperger’s or high functioning autism (PDDNOS), I think you’d find the ABC story about how something like 90% of these kids are bullied in middle school and what one community in New Jersey did about it, by forming a social skills group in the school and making it “cool” for neurotypical kids to help others like this instead of hurting them… I think the more you can make people and especially children, aware of how hurtful it is to pick on kids with this disability, and to make these children accountable for their behavior, the better chance we have of turning our society, from one packed with adults that give rude stares and unwelcomed comments at parents with kids on the spectrum to a world where people are a causal agent for positive change aka nice to each other.
Which leads me back to Oprah… now don’t get me wrong, I love Oprah… and I am one of the masses/minions who does like watching these mini “docudramas” of other people’s lives rather than celebrity interviews to find out what it’s really like for people in this or that situation. But let’s face it, when it comes to something that’s supposed to represent your own life, or something that hits close to home, you’re a bit more judgemental and have greater expectations. I say this because, while I did appreciate the info getting out, I was ultimately let down at how detached and thin the show was.
As for the good info: the idea of being more compassionate to parents of children with autism, while glossed over, was good to bring up. Many adults glare at, or question a crying child, a screaming child or a tantrumming child and cast silent judgement. The only thing worse than having to deal with a kid doing something like this in a public situation, is having to deal with the “well-meaning” stranger, who asks stupid questions like “Why is he crying? Isn’t he enjoying himself?”– or looking at you disapprovingly like it’s something you did as a parent. Looks of pity rate on this level as well. I like the suggestion of offering actual help over these options… though personally, I’d rather folks just ignore it and have some privacy in the situation. Bringing this to light — that folks are downright rude and nasty to us parents is good — though I wish she took it a step further and let the idea out that if parents are rude and nasty, why are they surprised that they’re raising kids to be this way and bully the middle schoolers who are different (and by the way, it’s not just in middle school that kids with ASD get picked on… it starts young… First grade… or as soon as kids find out another kid will do anything you tell him/her to, or that a child doesn’t have the ability to lie… that leads to all sorts of issues in the hands of uneducated, unsympathic kids, not to mention black eyes and tears in our kids).
So yes, we parents could use some peace, love and understanding. But there’s more to this issue that’s not getting talked about. I think it’s especially difficult for typical parents to relate to parents of children with Asperger’s/high functioning autism, when they can’t actually “see” the disorder. This is never mentioned. Then these same parents go on wondering (and gossiping) why does your kid get services and all the attention when they seem absolutely “fine” or are bright and doing great academically, like many of our kids are. I wish there was a show on this, or a show that would at least talk about this part of high functioning autism. I haven’t seen it yet, but maybe in the future, or next April, when the media once again gives us our two minutes.
Another issue raised on Oprah, that I’m appreciative of, was the affect on parents, specifically women, who have to give up their jobs and the financial strain this puts on a family. I do wish she examined the issue more thoroughly, of all the women who have gone to school and worked hard to develop a career, only to have to relinquish it in order to take care of and teach her child with autism.
This lack of personalization and in-depthness is my criticism of the entire show actually — everything seemed like a mere outline. Oprah’s show tried to tackle too much information and issues on too big a subject with a very wide range of problems without getting in depth or “personable” as she’s capable of doing in her better shows… to any of these people or issues… yes, you heard me right, Oprah, my Oprah who I still love and admire… seemed detached.
Also, not having a child on the show with Asperger’s or high functioning autism, or interviewing parents of Asperger’s or high functioning autism (as they did on the Nightline special and even on, gasp, Larry King) was a true disservice to the issue as a whole.. You can’t talk about Autism Spectrum Disorders, without having both ends of the spectrum represented. Otherwise, and I think this is true in this case, people will generalize; especially the people you’re trying to reach who know nothing about ASD. For those of us who do know, if we can’t see ourselves up there, we feel left out and disserviced). I would have especially appreciated having an adult up there talking about what it was like for him or her as a child… or is like, as an adult. Why not ask the source?
Ah, but I’m being critical again. I should just be glad that at least she did a show on it. I am glad that she brought up the issues of siblings for children on the spectrum… very glad indeed. Sibling support groups should be rising and showing up in our schools and communities in equal numbers the the rise in ASD diagnosies… but they’re not.
Still, maybe these and other issues will come up on Dr. Phil, which is produced by Oprah’s company, Harpo. After all, April’s not over… we still have a few days left to see what’s coming up.
Autism Awareness Month… sort of like Black Awareness Month, isn’t it? Like we should be aware one month out of the year that people are black… or people have autism. While I’m thankful for the media attention, there’s something inherently strange about this whole “awareness month” format isn’t it? If it’s a matter of needing to spoonfeed info to the public a little at a time… maybe we should teach, like we teach out kids with ASD, and up the expectations a little… maybe autism awareness year?
Coming up in the media:
Nick News with Linda Ellerbee PRIVATE WORLDS: KIDS AND AUTISM Airs Sunday,
April 22 at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT on Nickelodeon
(PRNewswire) Linda Ellerbee takes a look at the lives of kids struggling with different levels of autism in Private Worlds: Kids and Autism premiering Sunday, April 22 at 8:30 p.m. ET/PT on Nickelodeon. “Autism is not a mental illness. It’s not contagious, and it’s not a choice; and while kids with autism have been described as living in their own private worlds,” Ellerbee said, “they are also living in our world. Therein lies the challenge for all of us: How do we live differently together?”
-BWC
3 Comments
April 13, 2007 at 10:26 pm
I wanted to know what channel it is going to be on April 22 @ 8:30pm. I live in pasco county (zephryhills, FL) so was wandering what channel it will be on so that I can tell others and watch it myself. Thank you!
September 14, 2007 at 2:13 pm
Nice post, bookmark it
May 5, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I enjoyed your post. Having a brother with Aspergers as well as having a daughter of my own with low functioning (classic) autism, I have seen both ends of the spectrum and strongly believe that autism as a whole is completely misunderstood by the general population. Both ends of the spectrum are misrepresented in the media (most people are curious to hear the stories but don’t want to have to change the way they think) and the education system although improved from 25 years ago still has some major flaws.
The high functioning individuals will always struggle against unfair expectation because they appear “normal” and complaints that they receive services and supports that others feel they do not need. The families with low functioning children get to hear about how their children are a drain on funding that could be used to help children “who could REALLY benefit from services” or more commonly (because optimistic advice is much more socially acceptable) “Oh, my cousin has a friend who works with a person who has an autistic child and they have him him on a special diet now and you wouldn’t even know he has “a problem”… you should call them, I’m sure they could help you with your daughter”.
Regardless of where on the spectrum a child is many of the issues we face as families are the same across the board…bullying, rude people, stress about our child’s future/safety, worry that they are getting appropriate education, balancing family, the daily ongoing challenges of autism etc. Unfortunately, autism itself is such a loaded topic that it would take a whole month of Oprah to give it accurate representation and even more unfortunate is that people really don’t want to know that much. With great knowledge comes responsibility or guilt and very few want either. You are very right about more emphasis on sibling supports, they are a high risk group for all kinds of issues. They have knowledge, responsibility, (and often guilt as well) thrust upon them from an early age and need help to balance that with their own natural development.
Again, I enjoyed the post…sorry about the rambling